Am I crazy to write it?
Am I too crazy even to translate it into English?
Anyway here they are.

As long as my Mandarin is as poor as English............just for fun.

3、To learn Vulcan


当进取号的年轻船长JIM KIRK把这句话反过来应用的时候,他犯了一个逻辑错误。这个错误其实微不足道,但如果对象是那个出了名的恪守逻辑的(冷感)外星人Spock,有些事情就会……不,当然不会产生严重的后果,只是不太顺利而已。



















To Learn Vulcan

A poetry on earth once said, Valentine can make the best teacher.

Apperantly the young captain of Enterprise makes a logic mistake when he tries to put this into practice in a reverse way,which maybe too small to be an error, but when he faces the always logical (sexless) alien Spock……No,nothing serious may occur but just a little bit……frustrating.

“Are you in the middle of something,Mr.Spock?”

“I just came off duty,3 seconds before,Captain.”One of Spock’s eyebrows raises,which means undoubtedly you know I’m not in the middle of anything,Captain.

“Oh,well,I just wanna ask,if you would like to teach me some Vulcan when you are not busy.”

“You hope to learn Vulcan?”Captain of Enterprise has never ever shown his passion for study and Spock,as his first officer knows it better than anyone else.

“Oh,yes,you know,as the Captain of the USS Enterprise,I feel it strongly my responsibility to master languages my crew use,which will surely do good to our work and…..uh,other relationship……”

“As far as I know,human beings are intended to tell a white lie.It’s out of instinct and not that bad……you mean my command of English is not good enough to communicate with you smoothly and accuratly?”Spock looks at him so seriously and attentively as usual and as always.He wears no expression on his face as usual and as always and Kirk finds it amazing that he can make you understand his expression even without any expression on the face.

Dammit he nearly bursts out with,”The difficulty between us never lies in the language!”

“No,no,I just,just want to be closer to my crew,you know, a competent Captain should be approachable.”

Again Spock raise one of his eyebrow,and Kirk knows he means your are approachable enough-if not too much by this.

“I’m glad to hear this,Captain.Knowledge is and shall always be of great importance to any beings.As far as I know, the whole crew contains 233 members,coming from 52 galaxies,102 planes.So I suppose you shall have to learn 101 languages in total.”

Captain’s smile freezes.101 languages……God just think of the number!

“Well,that’s a great programme and will take a long period of time.What about we starting with Vulcan?You are my first officer and I……”

“Captain,I am willing to help you.But before we start I must remind you that Vulcan is a very rigorous and logical language, with which ,only legal language on earth can be compared.Besides,there are so many words expressing complicated feelings which maybe too precise to be understood by human belings.So I strongly recommand you that……”

Damn it! He should have known that beating around bush with Spock wouldn’t do any good . The hell with the 101 languages and he should have known that language means nothing sometimes!

Spock is still gazing at him seriously,explanning the complication and specialty of Vulcan language.Lord anyone can stop him?He tries to interrupt at some time but fails as usual.Please!At least give him a chance to tell him that he has no interest in the god damn 101 languages,neither does he want to increase his affinity.All he want to do is to learn Vulcan and by which he can change his teacher to his valentine!Kirk is really annoyed by those too beautiful and fierce black eyes and that never stopping once starts mouth …….

And finally he shows his decision as a Captain by changing strategy repidly and decisivly.Yes he does what most illogical but most of the human beings usually do: he leans in,comes close to his mouth,without any prior warnings,he seals it with a kiss.

It maybe dangerous, considering he once tried to strangle him.

But it works,in a cheerful way.